Broken Mind Broken Life

Hi, my name is Kelly and I have bipolar II. I’ve  had symptoms of bipolar as young as eight years old. Today I am 44 and the last 10 years have been devastating to me and my dreams. Creative and driven for part of my life only to crash into the dark place until my next up swing.  This is bipolar to me. Bipolar effects everyone differently. For me the depressions are the worst. Hard to explain it to someone without them going through it. However, maybe I can shed some light.

Depression for someone with bipolar is much worse than a normal depression. Depression will effect everyone differently. For me depression is this dark cold place. I actually lock up, remaining in the same room for months at a time. I tend to not  answer my phone, door, mail, and avoid most human contact. And the sadness? It’s like grieving for a loved one lost. Your family tends to shy away from you because you have a “mental disorder”.  Thus, leaving you with plenty of lost love ones to grieve for. Finally the pain is so unbearable all you can think of is wanting your own death. It is one one the most horrible experiences you can have in life.

Hope it helps.
Kelly